Call of Duty War is Hell
by Superguy559
Summary: A parody of all those so called "creepypastas" that you find on the internet.


Call of Duty: War is Hell

OMG guys I just played Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and it was so scary that I haven't slept for three days! I think someone (or something) is coming to get me so before that happens I need to tell you what happened.

It all started three days ago. I was walking down the street when an old man came up to me and punched me in the face. He said "Take this game you little shit, I hope you get raped by some big black guy!" then he ran off into the night. I was in some pain, but I didn't care, I had just gotten a new game!

So I went home and had a good look at the packaging. It was mostly normal, except the man on the front seemed to have glowing red eyes and vampire teeth. I opened the box and the disc inside only had a blank label that said in black marker "Call of Duty: War is Hell" and underneath the title it had a message that said "If you play this game you deserve anything that comes to you." I wasn't scared of some shitty ass label though, so I put the game in my Xbox 360 and started playing.

It started up normally but when it finally came to the screen with the game type selection on the man with the future glasses, things seemed off. Firstly the control room I was in was covered in hyper realistic blood and in the blood were mounds of _really_ hyper realistic skulls, secondly I could hear someone scream and shout as if he were letting it all out. I ignored it and selected the campaign mode, but as I did I heard in a voice that sounded like Raul Menendez (the main villain of the game) say "Welcome to hell fuckhead."

It didn't even give me the option to select a level; instead it sent me straight into the part of the game when you're playing as Menendez sitting on the bed with his burn up sister. I had watched a walkthrough beforehand so I expected to be attacked by the good guys at any moment… but that never happened. Instead Menendez's sister burst up from under the covers and held me down on the bed. She looked at me with her blank eyeless face and said "Show me what you've got big boy!" All of a sudden both of our clothes were off and she was riding Menendez like a rodeo bull. Menendez disgusted by the horny zombie puked bile and shit all over himself and his sister. His sister then puked green slime all over me, covering the camera view. Then after about three minutes (I was timing) as she finally came she grabbed a knife and started stabbing Menendez over and over, disembowelling him and spraying the screen with yet more hyper realistic blood. The game over screen then came up saying "To avoid vomit inducing wincest, don't be afraid to slap a bitch."

The screen then cut to black and I started up as David Mason in the final mission when you attack the island. I fought my way through wave after wave of bad guys and was having a good time again. Then I got to the final bit were you slide down the slope and hold Menendez at gunpoint, but as I got to him the options to ether kill him or take him alive didn't appear. Instead he told me "You're going to die kid."

All of a sudden the giant tank from the desert level when you're playing as Alex Mason burst through the wall and with it hordes of Russians that killed all of the Americans and Chinese that were helping me. Distracted by this Menendez pushed me off and disarmed me. Then the top of the tank popped open and the big Russian guy came out, except he was a skeleton and had a double ended chainsaw like the lightsaber out of The Phantom Menace. He walked over to Mason and threw something over… it was the head of Alex Mason. It said "That's my boy" before the skeleton sawed off my head too.

The screen then cut to black again and I saw Menendez just standing in front of the screen. He said "British dog, you think that you can hope to beat me? I will never allow it!"

I said "Fuck off you bastard! I will beat you and your plans."

He looked at me, his eyes glowing red and he said "No you tea sipping piece of shit! YOU WILL LOSE!"

Suddenly Menendez came out of the TV and drew his pistol. I was so scared I shit myself and tried to run out the door but it was as if it was locked from the outside. Menendez laughed evilly and pulled the trigger blowing my brains all over the floor and coating the room in just plain old realistic blood.

The police came later that day. I tried to tell them what had happed but they wouldn't listen to me because I was dead. One of the investigators found the game in my console and took it without anyone seeing. Now as a ghost I feel like the devil is coming for my ass but it's not too late for you. If you see this game and someone tries to give it to you, kick them in the nuts and run away (if they are a woman kick them in the cunt, it works just as well).


End file.
